So with all of the emotions I have been feeling the past few days I feel compelled to write about some positive thoughts that have been inner woven through the endless pouring tears. I always wondered what if Prince were to pass how would I handle it, how would we as a collective whole in our purple circle handle it? I don't think any of us knew it would be this heavy or even fathomed the thought. We are all numb right now, but what helps me the most is taking a walk down memory lane and staying grateful and thankful for what Prince had shared with us for so long.

For years many of my friends knew me best as the guy who had a passionate adoration for Prince. Some may have assumed I was a little obsessive or a lot, and maybe I was but for good reason and really I didn't care what anybody thought, this was my Private Joy.

I remember when I was 12 years old I was so enthralled by his music I couldn't get enough, and there was a plethora of songs already available. My sister and cousins used to imitate his band and use tennis rackets and boxes as props for guitars. I would be the lead singer screaming and singing in a mickey mouse made microphone and stand. We still laugh about those days in the basement in Utah singing and dancing to the songs on 1999 and Purple Rain. But it became far more than that.

I once had a dream I was sitting with Prince having a fruitful conversation about his music and artistry. We moved to California during the Parade Tour but I was deprived of my first live experience up until I was 16 and attended the Lovesexy show at the LA Sports Arena. That was the onset to so many countless shows I had the pleasure of attending. Prince pumped out music continually never taking a break.

I got to feel every emotion contained in every fiber of my being through every song my ears came into contact with on so many occasions. There were enticing love making songs, songs that made you cry, laugh, dance, and remain in jaw dropping awe. He was the best guitarist on earth but I kept that to myself because if anybody wanted to discuss who they though was better than Prince the quiet lil voice in my head said this guys full of shit and just doesn't know. PRINCE FUCKING RULES.

In the last few years I had the pleasure of being invited by my lovely friend Jeannie to Prince's house at 77 Beverly Park where I ran into my comrade Rd Hull and his lovely wife Debi. That was a surreal story within itself but Prince played for us and a select few in his living room with his two different bands. 2 1/2 hours and he even jumped on the drums and played the beat to Irresistible Bitch as Rd and I sang the lyrics omitting the word Bitch with Uh out of respect to Prince's needs. Didn't know he had a cursing jar.

Over the years Prince played so many shows and I'd post so much footage on facebook I'm sure a few people unfriended me for flooding their feeds. But I could care less, I loved when my friends that got it would say they are living vicariously through me. You know who you are. Prince once played the House Of Blues and of course Peji Pej was front and center. At the end of the show he threw his guitar pick on the ground and groupie Pej picked it up swift and quick to snatch it for myself but Prince jumped forward crouched and kneeled down, grasped my wrist and vehemently clenched his teeth motioning with his other finger that's a no no. He must have seen the fear in my eyes as if I was his son getting scolded. To my surprise, he then handed the pick back to me with a mischievous friendly smile. I fucking love those moments and there were many.

I talked to him on national television a few years later and my picture was even displayed on the inner DVD of The One Night Alone concert. Coincidence or God's way of staying anonymous and letting me enjoy my Princely journey? I choose God.

One thing I had always dreamed was to go to Paisley Park. Whether I could see him play there or not wasn't important to me. I just wanted to see where the magical music was created and the all around set up. Over the years I wasn't in my right mind or couldn't even afford to go if I wanted to. Last November I had an epiphany. The thought came that I need to go since he did summer shows there but when? He tweeted Cheesecake Funk this weekend and it read "You never know what could happen." I thought this muffuga's gonna play and caught a flight out the next day not really being sure. He played indeed. He sang "When Will We Get Paid" ask Jo Clarkston and Tamiko Natasha they sat next to me on the pillows that were provided in the small room. This was the pre-curser to the Piano and Microphone shows, although he was on keys not the piano. It was intimate and short and toward the end of the show his fill in band stepped in and he picked up his guitar and played "Dreamer" and another song me thinx. That would be the last time I got to see Prince play the guitar live.

Two months later he announced the Piano and Microphone shows at Paisley and I went again. I was also able to tour the studios several times and during two of the tours Prince came out and surprised us. He had cookies and had his assistant give them out to us. Those shows were so personal and deeply heartfelt. Different than anything we'd ever seen him do. The first show I was sitting right in the front row with Cheryl, Jeremy, and Hana. Alana Mika Portia and Priana stood behind us and I would glance back often and admire the dreamy trance they were all stuck in eyes locked on his every move. We had a perfect view of him. It was the day after Bowie passed and he showed his respects, spoke highly of him and put his head down shaking it back and forth with emotion. I cried. He spoke of his parents and he spoke of Wendy and Lisa too. He cried during Purple Rain, and said sorry I sometimes forget how emotional playing these songs can make me feel. He also thanked us for coming out to see him play he usually around this time of night is here alone playing by himself. I could fully envision it.

Now we're all left wondering did he know something we didn't know? Was this all leading up to something? Sudden talk of his own personal memoirs and a ceremonial Piano Tour before he passed. He was a one man band with an afro when he began, and after numerous hairstyles over the years he ended his career as a one man band with an afro. Perhaps it was. More will be revealed. Whether he was privately secretive and mysterious he always kept us on our toes. I've shared so many memories with so many purple hippies and met some of my dearest friends through my Prince Family. The very best thing that happened in all this was that two of my dearest friends from growing up, Amir and Monica got to see him play his last shows. Amir in Oakland and Monica saw the last and final show in Atlanta. We cried then and we are crying now. But we would be selfish if we said we are not complete.

Thank you Prince

Sincerely
Pej